《虎爪》
Tiger Paw Nail
今年是虎年，我陡然想起了我的虎爪。
As this year is the year of the tiger, I suddenly remembered my tiger paw nail.
那是整整六十年前，我九岁的时候，母亲吧它用红棉绳拴了，挂在我的脖子上，我嫌它难看，又有点害怕。就把它塞进贴肉的粗布肚兜里面。爪子尖有时刺到我，害得我夜里做慌梦，就把它脱下来放到母亲的针线盒里了。
It was sixty years ago when I was nine that my mother hung a tiger paw nail around my neck with a piece of red cotton string. I was scared of it and thought it very ugly, so I hid it under my coarse cotton undershirt. The tip of the nail scratched my bare skin, and I had nightmares, so I took it off and put it in my mother's sewing box.
虎爪是怎么来的呢？那是有一个大清早，我正跟母亲跪在蒲团上念经，却听得一群人拥到我家门口敲锣打鼓地喊：“老虎打倒啦，打倒老虎啦！”母亲和我都忍不住奔出去，看见几个村子里的壮汉，用一条木板凳扛着一条比狗大一点，满身深浅黄条纹的山兽，放在我家大院子里，那一定就是老虎了。它趴着一动不动，眼睛紧闭着，血从肚子底下一滴滴流在水泥地上，它已经被打死了。
I remembered it was early morning. My mother and I were kneeling on the grass mat and chanting Sutras. We heard noises at the front gate. There were the sounds of drums and cymbols. Someone was shouting, "We have killed the tiger! We have killed the tiger!" Mother and I ran outside. We saw several rough villagers carrying a wooden plank. On top of it lay an animal with yellow and black stripes, not much bigger than a dog. They put it down in our big courtyard. The animal must be a tiger, I thought. It lay there still, with its eyes tightly shut. Blood was dripping from its underbelly. It was already dead.
母亲连声念阿弥陀佛，我不敢多看，回头就跑进屋子了。却听一个壮汉对母亲说：“老虎肉要吗？吃了冬天不怕冷哟！”母亲说：“不要！你们快走吧，罪过死了。”壮汉说：“什么罪过，老虎最恶毒，会吃人的。”“母亲说：“你不去伤它，它也不会吃你的。”壮汉说：“太太，你太仁慈了，人都没那么好，别说畜生了。”母亲生气地说：“你们把虎抗走，要把我地上的血水冲干净，大清早的，怎么抗来打死的小老虎，母老虎才不和你们甘休呢。”壮汉大笑说：“母老虎来了，再把它打来，老虎皮、老虎骨都好值钱哪。”母亲不想再听下去，就进来了。
My mother, a devoted Buddhist, started to chant the Sutra of Mercy. I was frightened and ran into the house alone. I heard a villager saying to my mother, "Do you want to buy some tiger meat, Lady? It will keep your body warm this winter." "We don't want it. Please take it away. Heaven have mercy!" "What mercy?" The villager asked out loud, "What mercy? Tigers are most vicious and eat people." "If you don't harm them, they will not harm you," Mother said. "You are too merciful, Lady. Even people harm people. To say nothing of beasts!" My mother started to get angry. "Please take the tiger away and clean up the blood stain on the ground. Why did you kill this baby tiger? Its mother will be after you!" The villager laughed and said, "Ha! Mother tiger. We'll kill her when she comes. The tiger skin and the tiger bones are all very expensive!" My mother would not argue with the villagers anymore. She came into the house.
她跪在佛前，合掌闭目念往生咒，念了一遍又一遍。我心里一直在想着那闭着眼睛趴着一动不动的小老虎。它妈妈一定到处在找它，一定哭得好伤心。
She knelt down in front of the Buddha shrine and chanted the Sutra of Mercy. She repeated it over and over. I kept thinking of the tiger with its eyes tightly shut. Its mother must be looking for it everywhere by now. She probably is very sad.
果然，后山的老虎，出没悲号了好多天，村子里再没一个人敢去打它，好多日子后，才不再听到声音了。
Surely, we heard the mother tiger crying sadly that night and several nights afterwards. No villager dared to kill her. Then we did not hear her crying anymore.
很多天以后，五叔婆却从口袋里摸出一只小小的虎爪子，递给母亲书：“小春看见过那只死掉的老虎了，我特别买来它这个爪子，挂在她身上，以后才会平安无事。”母亲呆呆地半晌才接过来，放在饭桌上。五叔婆走开以后，母亲对我说：“虎爪是辟邪的，我把它用银子镶了给你戴。”我说：“妈妈，我不要戴虎爪，我好怕，一看见它就会想起可怜的小老虎，和失去孩子的伤心母老虎。”母亲笑了下说：“你心肠这么好，挂了它，就常常记得念经超渡那只小老虎吧。”母亲的好意我不忍心违背。不久她真的把虎爪镶了银托子给我挂上，我还是把它脱下了。
One day, Grandaunt took out a small tiger paw nail and gave it to my mother. She said, "Hsiao Chun has seen the baby tiger. I bought this tiger paw nail especially for her so she can be kept from evil." Mother was stunned for a while and put it on the kitchen table. After Grandaunt left the room, my mother said, "The paw nail of the tiger is a charm, and it will keep evil from you. I will have it set in silver and let you wear it." "I don't want to wear it. I am so scared. Whenever I see this nail, I will think of the dead baby tiger and its poor mother!" "You have a kind heart," My mother said, "Wear the paw nail. You will remember to say the Sutra of Mercy for the baby tiger." I did not want to disobey my mother. She had the silver casing made and hung it over my neck. But I took it off later on.
出门求学时，我没有带着虎爪，它一直放在母亲的针线盒里。直到我毕业回到故乡，母亲已经去世，她的针线盒也不知去向了。整理她的衣物时，却发现虎爪竟然和我的意见旧短袄包在一起，红棉绳已剪短，拴上了一个小小红缎包，打开一看里面是一本小小的心经。想想母亲一定还是记挂着那只小老虎，所以把虎爪和心经拴在一起，求菩萨超渡它。母亲又把它们和我的短袄包在一起，明明是不放心我只身在外，要虎爪为我辟邪，求菩萨保佑我平安。
Many years later, when I went away to college, I did not bring the tiger paw nail with me. It lay in my mother's sewing box. I came home after graduating from college, but my mother had already passed away. Her sewing box was gone. I was going through her old clothing and found an old jacket of mine. Wrapped in it was the tiger paw nail. The red cotton string had been cut short, and on it hung a little red silk purse. When I opened the purse, there was a tiny book of Sutras. I knew my mother must have remembered the tiger all these years. She had tied the paw nail and the tiny Sutras together. This was to ask the Buddha to have mercy on it, and when she tied it with my jacket, she must have thought that it was a charm and would help keep evil away from me.
抚摸着小小的虎爪，我又想起那只被杀害紧闭眼睛的乳虎，和终日悲鸣的母虎。更体会到母亲对我的担忧该有多么的深！
I held the tiger paw nail in my hand and thought of the baby tiger with its eyes tightly shut, and how its mother would cry and how my mother must have worried about me.
虎爪和小本心经，由于战乱搬迁，再也找不到了。六十年为一甲子，如真有轮回的话，那只小老虎想来也业障早满，转世为人了。
The tiger paw nail and the tiny book of Sutras were lost during the war. Sixty years have since passed. According to reincarnation, I hope the baby tiger's time was served and it has already turned into a person by now.
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