Childhood
Qu Qiubai

When you have nothing to live for in life, you tend to feel nostalgic for the days gone by—your youth and childhood. The romantic memory of the past is not at all a discovery of the sweetness of "childhood", but an awareness of life beginning to fade after "middle age". Everyone has but one life to live and, naturally, it is treasured by all. However, if his life is dedicated to the cause of the people, if he makes a point of doing something every day for the world, he is growing and, though eventually he will die, the cause he lives for—the cause of the people—will never die. In other words, he will gain a sense of "eternal youth". As for the one who lives his life drifting around as if in a dream, he takes a lot from the world but gives little in return. Sooner or later he will be feeling such death fatigue that he will find himself deprived of the energy to "take". Then the grief caused by age and impotence will render his heart as heavy as if loaded with lead. How fast youth goes!

What makes childhood sweet is the innocence of the heart. In childhood, however, whatever you see and whatever you do is "knowing". You can become a great scientist or a great philosopher, on daily basis, with the new things or the new truth you discover. But now, you seem to have learned "everything" and you are tired of the faces you see every day. The universe and the society seem to be getting old and boring, though there are more new things to discover. I miss my childhood, I bless my childhood!

When you find it hard to go forward, you tend to take a step backward to retrace the road you have come along, taking yourself back to the world of innocence and giving yourself the pleasure of "knowing" again. Oh, how terrible is the discontinuance of life.

Since what is gone is gone and what is ahead is still ahead, what is the point of getting so emotional about it—I ask myself.

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