我在山坡的小屋里，悄悄掀起窗帘，窥见园中大千世界，一片繁华，自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄，也穿插其间，个个喜气洋洋。
　　学译：I stayed in the small flat on the hillside, quietly opened the curtain, caught glimpse of the world in the garden, it was so flourishing：my brothers and sisters, male cousins, were coming and going through, everyone looked pleasant.
　　学译：In the small cottage on the hillside, secretly I opened the curtain to see the prosperity of the big world in the garden. All of them were delighted, including my brothers, my sisters, and my cousins. 参考译文：I, without being noticed, lifted the curtain in my small room, only to spy the bustle of a kaleidoscopic world down in the garden, and my elder sisters, brothers and my cousins, each full of the joys of spring, were shuttling among the guests.
　　汉语原句的“节数”有了空前的增加：八节。面对如此长的“竹竿句”，学译显得有点“技穷”，无奈之下，以上两句学译便依样画葫芦，照汉语原文的感觉走，见一句就译一句，不考虑“节”间关系，不分析时间先后和逻辑内涵。第二句学译甚至没有弄清“自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄”和“个个喜气洋洋”之间的关系，不明白“个个喜气洋洋”指的就是“自己的哥姐，堂表弟兄”，而错把All of them were delighted当作“主干”，而把my brothers, my sisters，and my cousins 用including 作为其中包含的成员处理。
　　复观参考译文，发现译者在落下译笔之前，对原句的逻辑梳理非常到位，因此确定主干也极为果断。“悄悄掀起窗帘”、“也穿插其间”分别作了“主干”，英译就站稳了脚跟。特别值得一提的是，译者在第一个“主干” (lifted the curtain in my small room)之后，用了一个动词不定式短语，表示结果，在这个动词不定式短语前添加了一个副词only，译文顿时生色!这说明，除了经过逻辑分析确定“主干”之外，能活用所掌握的词汇，也极为重要。我们初学英语之时，就已经学到：only to是一个很有感情色彩的表达，其含义是：不料竟会……;没想到会……。

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